May the bridges I burn, light the way.: It's too cold outside for angels to fly.

" Can you see us? "

“When I die, I don’t want to go to heaven or hell. I want to stay on earth and haunt people. Turn the lights on in the kitchen when you thought you’ve turned them off. Hide under the bed and grab your leg when it dangles off while you’re sleeping. Sit in the backseat and show up in your rearview mirror when you’re driving alone at night. Being a ghost sounds like a lot of fun!”

— Robert Downey Jr.

It's time to move on. Though my heart is craving more. I have this empty place inside of me. I have this .. darkness. You were kinda like the motivation, hope, some kind of rescue. Solution, answer to all of my doubts. I never knew you well, I never did. Letting you go wasn't supposed to hurt so much. But I was so close.

They say a few drinks will help me to forget him,

but after too many I know that I'll never.

But the truth is, he'll say he doesn't feel the same,

and you'll begin to wonder why you came.

Now I am in this point, where I really need to go home. Need to figure things out, need to get out of here where everything reminds me of you. I need the sun, swimming, having fun and laughing.

How dare you say I am weak? I am strong.

You want to know who is a strong person?

Who can cry at nights, scream and shout for hours when she's alone. But when she goes outside, she pushes the shit aside and puts this " smile thing "on her face. She is able to laugh, able to enjoy and be surrounded by people who cares about her.

But once she goes home, she breaks down. Because being alone kills, lonelyness destroys. We have all been there, aren't we? You know what I am talking about. So how dare you claim, that I am not strong enough to push you away?

I'll show you. And one day, you will realize that I am not coming back. You will wake up one morning and regret that you didn't chase me. Cause I was the girl who cared, who treated you right. I was worth keeping for. You know that.

Maailma yrittää antaa mulle taas jotain helvetin oppituntia.

Et just ku jaksan just ja just herätä uuteen päivään, ilman halua jäädä sänkyyn masentumaan miten asiat ei tuu muuttumaan, ja miten oon menettämässä jotain tärkeää. Niin se pitää aiheuttaa silti mulle heti kun astun ovesta ulos. Sä syöt mut sisältä. Pitää pokka joo, sen hetken. ' Im fine. ' - hetken vain. Ja heti ku sä häivyt mun näköalast, nii tunnen läpinäkyvien helmien vuotavan alas mun poskia pitkin.

Miks? Tuun ymmärtää sit joskus miks tarvitsen näita oppitunteja, miks tarvitsen näitä haavoja joista tulee ajan myötä arpia. Mut oon oppinu jo läksyni? Oon ollu täs tilantees jo monta kertaa? Oisko vittu nyt aika jonkun asian oikeesti toimivan. Olla mulle. Ilman et joutuisin olee toinen vaihtoehto, plan B.