All those fairytales are full of shit, one more lovesong and I'll be sick.

“if I never see you again 
I will always carry you 
inside 
outside
on my fingertips 
and at brain edges
and in centers 
centers 
of what I am of 
what remains. ”

At this point, I decided to walk away. It's not giving up, it's not like I shouldn't try and go for it. It's just that you have to draw the line between of determination and desperation. What is truly yours, would be eventually yours and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be. 

And I really need to leave, before it's too late. Cause you make my tears fall faster than you could ever imagine. You make me sit in the rain for like a fucking hour, and think desperately why I'm not good enough. 

You make me sleep for 4 hours, just because Im scared to be awake. Cause I am scared to open my eyes, scared of realizing that reality is incredibly frustrating. And this is just getting out of my control. It's going TOO far, and I need to stop this before I am not able to do that anymore.

I need to hurry. Need to work it out. Move on. Let go. Walk away. 

Oh God please give me the strenght to do that.

 I am getting these mental breakdowns and panic attacks that maybe it's too late.

Kills. Destroys. 

I've been in the hell and back.

 And I will refuse to go there again.

And let me just say, I will never drink again. Just fucks things up.

Usko mua ku mä sanon, pysy musta kaukana.

Haluut jutella, tiedän, pysy kaukana. 

Mä mietin loppuun asti,

Vaan sitä miten saan mä sulle selitettyy.  

// KA:  8.7 & lukuaineist 8.9

Käyttäytyminen - 8

Äidinkieli - 9

Englanti - 9 

Matematiikka - 8 

Fysiikka - 9 

Kemia - 9 

Biologia - 9 

Maantieto - 9 

Elämänkatsomustieto - 9 

Historia - 9 

Musiikki - 9 

Kuvataide - 8

Käsityö - 8

Liikunta - 8

Kotitalous - 9